The Secret of Denial

In my line of work it seems that I deal with lots of problems.  And often.  No one ever calls me when things are going well.  And it feels as if each one of these problems is unique.  After all, every man thinks his burden is the heaviest. So likewise, every company thinks it’s issues are unique.  It turns out that I have spent most of my career trying to find a unifying theory.  

Is there one thread to tie all these issues together?  Is there something that holds true for all companies no matter what problems come up? 

It seems I have uncovered a big surprise.  And it’s something that comes as a shock each and every time I uncover it.  Because we all think our problems are unique and that we are the only ones in the world who have to deal with them.  But it is no surprise to me because I see it time and time again across different companies.  And I will fill you in on this deep dark secret that no one ever wants to talk about. 

The secret is that companies almost always believe that their problems lie somewhere else. Somewhere other than them.  They are in denial.  It’s not my fault they say – it’s someone or something else. The market right now is not receptive. The clients are not buying at this time of year.  It’s not our ego laden culture.  Or what I hear a bunch of times -- we are #1 so no one else can do what we do.  The list goes on and on.  Yet what I found is that this amounts to nothing more than a list of excuses.

The problems inside a company are rarely perceived as being internal.   It’s just about always external. And in the search to place blame on the other – it’s tempting and even ‘normal’ -- to look anywhere but inside to place blame.

It’s far easier than taking responsibility.

It is a side effect of human nature that allows us to believe that the problem is not us.  It serves our ego.  It serves to protect us and shield us from a long hard look in the mirror. Which tends to be one of the hardest things for humans to do.  

Companies are the same way. It is more comfortable to place the blame on the other. The unknown other who is blocking progress.  Blocking the market.  Blocking invoicing or whatever else we convince ourselves the problem is.  Many wars throughout time have started as a blame of the other.  A vilification of some unknown.

But I am here to tell you that there is nothing normal about it.  Any decent study of the Creator Mindset maintains that the light of creativity must not be extinguished.  And keeping that light on relies on taking the blame for our own shortcomings.  You cannot be creative and use creativity to solve problems if you are unwilling to accept both the failures and successes of your ventures.

Not all enterprise will succeed.  Some will fail for reasons other than your doing.  Some will fail for reasons directly of your doing.  There is far too much finger pointing these days.  And far too little accepting responsibility.  Quite frankly, I am alarmed by the recent trend in our society to not take blame for anything.  It seems that we never allow ourselves to fail.  We give trophies out for just trying.   Instead of seeing things for what they really are --  failures we can learn from.  I suggest looking deep within and taking responsibility for your own shortcomings. Lord knows I have some significant shortcomings.  While it is incredibly hard, the thing is, it might make your business run smoother -- and it just might make you a better person.