Why You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work

For starters, it keeps you away from the drama.

Updated June 26, 2023 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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Key points

• The focus on making friends at work seems to be tragically misguided.

• Instead of making friends, choose boundaries that limit workplace drama and enable growth.

• Creating meaningful relationships that boost your career is a creative choice.

Common knowledge may lead us to believe that making friends at work is a good thing. [1] It might not be. Recent studies have shown that relationships with co-workers are now one of the least important factors in job satisfaction. [2] On top of that, making friends at work often keeps us from what is really important—building a network of co-workers that brings value, staying away from the day-to-day drama that can be significant, and finally making clear delineations between real friends and co-workers.

I've hired over 1,000 people in my career—a number that my publisher made me count before they bound my book to print. In all those hires I have seen people make countless poor choices by making friends at work, only to be disappointed time and time again when these friendships didn’t work out the way they thought they would.

Here are three creative things you can do to keep yourself from falling into the trap of making friends at work:

1. Don’t Get Caught in the Drama

Your workplace is not a reality show where everyone needs to build alliances to get off the island and win the million-dollar prize. The point of work is not to build secret alliances that collude to achieve certain off-topic goals.

Many of us have seen a group of work friends form a pact together to sway policy in one way or another or hold up meetings to fulfill their own agenda. What ends up happening is that, often, people get caught up in the drama and start to hate their jobs, burn out, and then get disappointed when their so-called friends don’t stick up for them in a meeting—or say that certain thing they want them to say to make them look better. As you can see already, it gets messy. So what can we do?

Instead of joining these cliques that have some specific agenda or vendetta to drive, focus on finding creative and innovative ways to execute your job to drive value. Instead of falling into the drama at work which can be so tempting [3], find ways to contribute to the conversation and ride above the day-to-day drama.

So many folks I have mentored over the years seem to have difficulty with this. We tell ourselves things like, “Shelly got promoted last year and she does far less than I do! What is going on?” Or, “My boss is less qualified than me—why am I not the one who is getting ahead?” Inevitably, this leads down the road of making alliances with work friends to drive a favorable narrative about us—and it almost always implodes.

Stop the temptation to jump into the drama and instead contribute meaningfully to what you do best. This is the foolproof method for getting ahead. It may take a while, but in the long run, it is the only viable option for long-term sustainable growth.

2. Keep Clear Boundaries Between Real Friends and Co-Workers

Real friends are people you can be yourself around and with whom you can show up being who you truly are—no editing needed. They are folks with whom you have developed a deep relationship over time that is mutual and flows in two ways. You are there for them and they are there for you. There is trust built.

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At work, this relationship becomes very, very complex. Instead of being a true friendship, what ends up happening is that the socio-economic realities of your workplace come into play—and most often that poisons the well. When money is involved, it clouds any potential friendship. It makes the lines so blurry between real and contrived friendships that the waters become too murky to make clear and meaningful relationships. Is that a real friend, or do they want something from me that benefits them? Who can you really trust at work and what happens if they violate your trust? Is my boss really my friend or are they just trying to get me to work harder/longer/faster?

If, instead, we keep clear boundaries at work, we never fall into the trap of worrying about whom to trust and who has our best interest in mind. It prevents us from transferring our best interests to anyone else simply because we assume they are our friends. Why give that amazing power to someone else at work only to be disappointed?

Worse yet, people will often confuse co-workers with family, falling into the trap of having a “work mom,” “work dad,” or even a “work husband” or “work wife.” This can lead to a number of disastrous results that are well-documented, as family is not the same as work, and confusing the two has long-lasting ramifications that can stifle career success and lead to unethical behaviour. [4] Keeping boundaries clear and your work life separate from your private life will help to alleviate this potential downfall and keep you focused on what really matters: the work.

3. Build Your Network

The main difference between a professional relationship at work and a personal friendship at work is our expectations. We expect, and should expect, a whole heck of a lot from our friends. Our professional relationships should live by a very different set of expectations. The expectations are far more muted and limited. They consist of mutual respect, less pessimism, and a willingness to collaborate wholeheartedly to get projects done. They do not include sharing what your dreams and aspirations are or where you plan on meeting the love of your life.

Professional relationships can be very satisfying and deeply meaningful. At first glance, they may seem superficial, but a deeper look can reveal a sense of satisfaction that professional relationships can bring when we take friendship out of the equation. For instance, research has shown that daily check-ins and chats with co-workers can boost well-being. [5]

So how do we build more professional relationships and fewer friendships at work? We can start by being more positive toward the work and each other. Pessimism is the killer of all creativity and innovation. It’s a nasty virus to have circulating at work. We can invest in mutual respect for each other and the roles we play. Just because you may think that accounting is not as important as sales or shipping, that doesn’t mean the accounting department is not a valued and important member of the team, worthy of respect.

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*******

The latest research shows that only 11 percent of workers ranked relationships with co-workers as a top factor in job satisfaction. [2] It might be worth it to focus on making better professional choices rather than getting caught up in the latest drama of the moment or office gossip. Finally, making more professional relationships at work can not only lead to a better sense of well-being—it can also make you happier at work.

Facebook/LinkedIn image: Blue Planet Studio/Shutterstock

References

[1] Mann, A. (2018). Why We Need Best Friends at Work. Gallup

[2] Westfall, B. (2022). Friends at Work? Today’s Employees Aren’t Interested. Capterra Company Culture Survey

[3] Edwards, J, McCleary, K. (2022). Bridge the Gap: Breakthrough Communication Tools to Transform Work Relationships From Challenging to Collaborative. (McGraw Hill, 2022)

[4] Vriend, T., Said, R., Janssen, O., Jordan, J. (2020). The Dark Side of Relational Leadership: Positive and Negative Reciprocity as Fundamental Drivers of Follower’s Intended Pro-leader and Pro-self Unethical Behavior. Frontiers in Psychology.

[5] Garr, S., Mehrotra, P. (2022). Performance Management for Hybrid Work. Redthread Research

Google Play Books | The Creator Mindset

The Creator Mindset: 92 Tools to Unlock the Secrets to Innovation, Growth, and Sustainability Authored by Nir Bashan Narrated by Alex Knox #nirbashan #thecreatormindset92toolstounlockthesecretstoinnovationgrowthandsustainability
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From B-school through the big leagues, the business world often places value on logic and analysis. But on creativity? Not so much. And this, according to Nir Bashan, is a recipe for disaster. What gets the ball rolling when we're feeling stuck in our careers? Why is my company not growing or reaching higher levels of profitability? What's the difference between a workable plan and a stroke of genius? The answer is creativity-and it's the missing ingredient for far too many of us who feel we're not reaching our creative potential. In The Creator Mindset, Bashan shows you how to use creativity as a decision-making tool and do so every bit as confidently as you use spreadsheets and data analysis. Bashan demystifies the process of sharpening this ability by breaking it down into four essential sections. Discover what is meant by a "creator mindset", why it's crucial in business, how to see the world with this mindset, and how to sustain it. Written in plain language with real-world examples, chapters include: creativity for noncreative people; training your mind to think in a creative way; when nothing else works-creativity will; envisioning a world that can be, not the world that is; the virtues of listening-and the value of making mistakes; the "Creator Mindset" guide to crisis; and beating the complacency conundrum.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Nir Bashan is a Clio Award-winning and Emmy-nominated entrepreneur who has worked in advertising and entertainment. Now, he teaches top leaders how to harness the power of creativity to innovate and grow sustainable businesses.

AUDIOBOOK DETAILS Purchase on Google Play Books ►► https://g.co/booksYT/AQAAAEA8hw7HIM Language: English Publisher: McGraw Hill-Ascent Audio Published on: June 22, 2021 ISBN: 9781638410003 Duration: 4 hr, 46 min Genres: Business & Economics / Decision-Making & Problem Solving, Business & Economics / Leadership, Business & Economics / Motivational, Self-Help / Creativity

A New Direction Podcast | Nir Bashan

Having a Creator Mindset that Will Change Your Business and Your Life

It seems you can look at nearly any online magazine or traditional magazine or news

paper and somewhere you are going to see the words AI…Artificial Intelligence.

Sadly the world of AI and our own laziness is robbing us one of the most fundamental and superior abilities we have over the AI/Computer world…our creativity.

We have lost our “Creator Mindset”. What is the “Creator Mindset” you eagerly ask?

It is opening your mind to the fact that we all have creative abilities. That within you is a creator and a creator mindset that you can bring into your business and life.

And in this episode of A New Direction The Creator Mindset author Nir Bashon joins us to help you reopen your mind to being the creative creator you always have been.

Nir Bashan’s book, “The Creator Mindset: 92 Tools to Unlock the Secrets to Innovation, Growth, and Sustainability” is literally for every person and every business.

He dispels all the myths that most people have around creativity and explains in a clear practical way how any of us can begin to be more creative.

Nir also addresses the issue of AI and creativity and dismantles the idea that AI can on some fashion replace the creativity of humans.  It simply cannot.  AI can be a tool, but not a replacement for our creativity.

Near also addresses a number of psychological issues when it comes to creativity, right brain/left brain, listening, negativity, and our ego for just a few.

The book will change you.  I promise.  It changed me.  One quote from the book that still stands out to me is this.  “There is no problem that creativity cannot solve”.  Genius!

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CEO World Magazine Cover Story | Reimagining the Art of Pleasing Leadership

In the corporate landscape, . .

the mantra “Make your boss look good, and you’ll succeed” echoes through the hallways like a hymn of career wisdom.   

But nothing can be further from the truth.  

When we use creativity at work and embrace the principals of innovation to get ahead, the benchmark of success becomes quality work itself. Moving away from pleasing leadership and making your boss look good is a true path to injecting creativity and innovation into everything that you do. In this exploration, we’ll delve into the nuances of creativity and innovation as a practice, dissecting why blindly making your boss look good and pleasing leadership might not always be the best strategic approach for both personal and professional growth. 

 When we practice creativity at work, it introduces a transformative perspective on business. Unlike traditional models that rely on conformity and hierarchy, the Creator Mindset is about embracing authenticity, fostering innovation, and recognizing the individual’s power to contribute meaningfully to the collective success of a company. 

Creativity and innovation have never been more important in corporate life today. Here are three powerful tools you can use now to challenge the status quo away from pleasing the boss and into a creative and innovative future. 

1.  Authenticity as the Cornerstone
   At the heart of the Creator Mindset is authenticity – the idea that success stems from embracing one’s true self rather than conforming to societal or organizational expectation. That pursuit of authenticity is not just a personal journey; it is also a powerful catalyst for organizational success. Making your boss look good or pleasing leadership just for the sake of pleasing leadership may compromise authenticity, creating a veneer that obscures the true capabilities and potential of your work. 

   We need the power of authenticity in fueling creative endeavors. Authenticity empowers us to bring our true selves to the creative table, fostering an environment where diverse perspectives are not only valued but actively sought after. The way that you conduct your role at work is a highly valued asset – and in it lies an amazing power of creativity. This authenticity-driven approach becomes a breeding ground for fresh ideas, unique insights, and unconventional solutions that can propel a job beyond the confines of the ordinary. 

   Creativity thrives in an atmosphere of trust and openness, both of which are nurtured by authenticity. When individuals feel free to express their genuine thoughts, concerns, and visions, a culture of honest collaboration emerges. This transparency cultivates a shared understanding, enabling team members to align their creative energies toward a common goal. When we view our work with creativity, the notion of authenticity isn’t just about being true to oneself; it’s about creating an environment where every authentic voice contributes to a harmonious symphony of innovation. 

   Authenticity becomes a guiding force that dismantles the barriers to creativity erected by fear of judgment or the need for conformity. Conformity causes us to make leadership look good or impress the boss when that’s literally the last thing we need to do. Creativity in your work, on the other hand, encourages us to discard the mask of conformity and embrace unique perspectives. When authenticity takes center stage, individuals are liberated from the constraints of preconceived notions, allowing for the exploration of unconventional ideas and the pursuit of creative breakthroughs. 

   When we use authenticity, the bridge connecting the individual with their creative potential is rife. When we authentically engage with our work, we tap into a wellspring of passion and enthusiasm. This genuine connection with one’s creative endeavors transcends the routine, transforming the act of work into a meaningful expression of one’s true and full capabilities. And there is no better place to be. Authenticity thus becomes the driving force that propels individuals towards not only creative excellence but also a profound sense of fulfillment in our professional journey. This road leads to joy, the road to pleasing others and leadership leads to burnout. 

   Authenticity is not just an buzzword; it is the very essence that breathes life into the innovative spirit of us all. By embracing authenticity, we can unlock a reservoir of creative potential, foster a culture of open collaboration, and chart a course towards a future where every individual contributes authentically to the collective brilliance of the team.  

2. How to Deal with Organizational Resistance
   Now that you are using authenticity as the cornerstone of a creative and innovative career, you are bound to hit some resistance. So what can you do? Adopting a creative view may lead to resistance within organizations because they are often too deeply entrenched in traditional hierarchies and power structures. Sound familiar? Convincing leaders and colleagues to embrace creativity and innovation needs to be a gradual process that requires persistence, effective communication, and tangible examples of success.

   Organizational resistance, when viewed through the lens creativity, is a formidable but not impossible challenge that demands a gradual, thoughtful approach. We need to advocate for a transformative shift in organizational paradigms, emphasizing authenticity, innovation, and individual contribution. However, the adoption of this mindset is often met with resistance within entrenched structures, making it imperative for creative change to be a gradual process.

   Interestingly, organizational resistance in and of itself is not as a roadblock but is an opportunity for transformation. Resistance often stems from deep-seated old habits, fear of the unknown, and attachment to traditional ways of operating. To overcome these obstacles, we must introduce creative change incrementally, allowing individuals within the organization to acclimate slowly to the new mindset gradually. The key here is slowly but surely. 

   Persistence is another key component in navigating organizational resistance. We must persevere in our efforts to instill the creative and innovative approach. This not about trying creativity and innovation once and then declaring that it is not working and abandoning the approach. This race is indeed not for the swift but for those who endure. So, this persistence involves consistently communicating the benefits of the new paradigm, addressing concerns, doing a lot of listening and using empathy, and finally uncovering the positive impact on both individual and company success. The gradual nature of this process ensures that we have the time and space to comprehend, internalize, and ultimately embrace the transformative principles of a Creator Mindset.

   Effective communication plays a pivotal role in dismantling resistance and fostering understanding. Communication is such a basic construct that its power is often ignored, but it is still vital. We need to recognize the importance of clear, transparent communication that articulates the rationale behind the shift in mindset. And that is a very important point. Because by providing a compelling narrative and illustrating how a creativity and innovation mindset aligns with goals, we can and will build a compelling case for change. This will not happen overnight. But soon tangible examples of success become powerful tools in this communication strategy, offering concrete evidence of how creativity and innovation has positively influenced the organization.

   Tangible examples of success act as beacons of inspiration within the organization. Like lights that guide a ship to dock at night, these beacons become a source of tangible and repeatable success. Showcasing these real-world instances where creative and innovative initiatives have led to improved overall success helps demystify the concept for those resistant to change. These examples serve as living proof that the gradual adoption of a new way to look at things can yield tangible, positive outcomes. Celebrating these successes reinforces the benefits of the new mindset and encourages others to embrace the transformative journey. 

3. Shifting Mindsets
   Shifting mindsets away from the traditional approach of making the boss look good and pleasing leadership towards a Creator Mindset is a crucial step in fostering a more dynamic and innovative workplace. The importance of shifting mindsets is underscored by the recognition that success is not solely defined by outward appearances. The traditional approach of making the boss look good can lead to a culture of conformity, stifling creativity and hindering the ability to adapt to change. 

   Shifting mindsets recognizes that true innovation often arises from the freedom to explore unconventional ideas and challenge the status quo. By moving away from the focus on pleasing leadership and making the boss look good, we can break the chains of convention and engage in creative problem-solving to contribute to goals in ways that never existed before.

   This transformation in mindset entails a reevaluation of success metrics. Creativity and innovation urges us to break free from the narrow confines of traditional success criteria. Instead of focusing solely on external validation, success is redefined as a multifaceted concept that includes individual growth, innovative contributions, and the overall well-being of the team.

   Success can no longer be defined as a one-dimensional pursuit driven by superficial appearances or antiquated measurement tools. It becomes a collective endeavor where the emphasis shifts from conforming to predetermined standards to fostering a culture that values innovation and celebrates diverse strengths. By reevaluating success metrics, auditors create an environment where metrics become far more useful and relevant to company strategies.

   The reevaluation of success metrics also implies a departure from the traditional hierarchical structures that often emphasize top-down recognition. Armed with creativity and innovation, our success is democratized, allowing for a more inclusive and dynamic evaluation process. This shift in perspective creates a vision of a workplace where success is measured by the depth of creativity, the authenticity of contributions, usefulness of tasks (not just an work for work’s sake) and the overall positive impact on true growth and adaptability.

   Shifting our mindset away from just making the boss look good towards a practice of creativity and innovation produces work that values authenticity, embraces diversity of thought, and prioritizes innovation and creativity. This shift is not just a change in mindset but a transformation in the very fabric of organizational dynamics, promoting a more dynamic, inclusive, and sustainable approach to real success measurements. We can unleash our creative potential and thrive in the ever-evolving landscape of the professional world simply by shifting our mindset. 

In the dynamic landscape of our modern workplace, practicing and embracing creativity emerge as a beacon of authenticity, innovation, and disruptive success. While the traditional strategy of making your boss look good appears superficially to have merits, it often perpetuates a cycle of conformity which is not good for long term success.  

 When we infuse our work with creativity, weaving the threads of innovation into the fabric of our everyday endeavors, the measure of success becomes synonymous with individual joy and meaningful contribution. Creativity and innovation are a discipline – practicable and accessible to every human being on earth. But actually taking the leap on an opportunity to practice our careers – no matter what it is that we do —  with creativity and innovation can lead to fostering both personal and professional growth, bringing a sense of complete joy and meaning to our everyday work. 

Career Can Do | Nir Bashan Unleashing Creativity in the Workplace

This week’s guest is Nir Bashan.

What can working with Hollywood stars like Woody Harrelson and Rod Steward teach you about creativity in the workplace? In this episode of Career Can Do, Mary Ann Faremouth is joined by Nir Bashan, an award-winning entrepreneur with a long history of experience in advertising and entertainment. His message is clear: creativity is critical in the workplace. Everyone has the potential to be creative; it just takes a little effort and space to allow that creativity to flourish.

Nir's book, The Creator Mindset, offers a recipe for success by encouraging individuals to make time for creativity in their daily lives. He suggests allocating time in your calendar specifically for creative thinking, as regular practice can lead to innovative solutions and a balanced approach to work. Nir highlights the importance of balancing creativity with analytics, as both are essential for personal and professional growth.

Creativity is not limited to traditional artistic fields like music or film, nor is it limited to artistic types like painters and graphic artists. The heart of creativity in the workplace involves looking at problems from a different perspective and finding innovative solutions. By stepping outside your comfort zone and embracing discomfort, you can unlock new opportunities for growth and success.

Nir also emphasizes the value of honesty and transparency in the hiring process. He encourages employers to look beyond the checkboxes on a resume and consider candidates' potential for growth and development. There's a massive, untapped talent pool filled with U.S. military veterans who bring valuable skills like discipline and adaptability to the workforce. Overall, Nir's message is clear: creativity, honesty, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone are key ingredients for success in the new work world.

The Art of Letting Go | Psychology Today

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The Art of Letting It Go

Stop taking your job so seriously and instead live a life you love.

Posted May 7, 2024 by NIR BASHAN | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

KEY POINTS

• Letting it go at work is something we can learn how to do.

• We put too much emphasis on work and not enough on things that really matter.

• When we practice letting it go, our lives improve not only at work but also outside work.

Burnout is at an all-time high in corporate America, and it can even make us sick.1 It seems like everywhere we look, there are people constantly burned out from their jobs. Overloaded from too many back-to-back meetings. Disconnected from the day-to-day meaning of their jobs. Most studies find that this is because of poor management or undefined work streams or other external factors.2 But many studies ignore other factors that may be the cause of burnout such as feeling overwhelmed and stressed out about things at work that we cannot control.

But there is always one thing that is fully in our control, and that is the way we choose to react.

Getting burned out is a choice we make at work, believe it or not—and that choice is ours alone to make. When looked at creatively, the art of letting it go can certainly help with the following three tools borrowed from maintaining a creator mindset. Because when we view burnout at work creatively, the following three tools can lead to not only a happier everyday experience at work but also to living a better life that you love.

1. Practice Letting It Go

What if I told you that you may be taking your job too seriously? That it is just a job and that there are other things going on in your life that may need the same amount of attention you are wasting on your job at this very moment. What would you say?

We need to begin to let go as a practice, not just as a statement. To begin to practice letting it go, make a list of the two or three most stressful elements of your job. Your list may look like this:

• Pressure to perform

• Stress of having poor leadership or a bad boss

This list is just a sample of what the two or three main stressors may be, but just writing it down is a great start to letting things go. Now look at each thing you wrote down on your list one by one and ask yourself the following two questions: Where is this stress coming from, and what would happen if you just let it go? So now your list may look like this:

Pressure to perform

A. Where is this stress coming from? Mostly from me.

B. What would happen if I let it go? Nothing would happen, or very little would happen, as I doubt my boss even knows that I put this stress on myself.

When we write things down, we are able to process them in a different way then just thinking.3 Let’s continue with the second item on the list:

Stress of having poor leadership or a bad boss

A. Where is this stress coming from? My boss is a bad boss and I learn so very little from him / her.

B. What would happen if I let it go? Relief—I would just get less guidance and career development.

In the item above, asking where the stress is coming from will help us identify the source of the stress and, most of the time, when the source is not us, there is not a lot we can do about it anyway. So the follow-up asking what would happen if you let it go is that you would feel relief from the stress and, worst case, maybe a lack of career guidance. But I argue that having a bad boss in the first place can be a blessing in disguise.

If you write down a list every time you feel burnt out at work, the practice of letting it go becomes real and tangible—not just some motto or statement. It is a tool that really works, so try it next time you are faced with a looming burnout.

2. The 15-Minute Rule and You

Instead of being fast and furious at work to respond to emails, texts, and chats, take a 15-minute break before responding. Do this every time you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. The chances are high that the immediate communication does not need to go out that very second. And that phone call does not need to be immediately returned.

In the 15 minutes that you take before reacting, you can take some time to collect your thoughts. Try “delayed send” or other tools in your inbox that give you time before you react. It may be the best time you have ever spent. Because, often, your first reaction to something may be just plain wrong.

In this brief interlude, detach from the madness of our modern workplace culture that holds urgency above everything—as if doing something fast equates to it being better. Spoiler alert: It does not.4 Take those 15 minutes to breathe and recalibrate. It is truly “me time.”

In essence, this 15-minute pause becomes a ritual of self-care—a small yet profound act of kindness toward yourself. And we need a whole lot more of self-kindness. It's a reminder that your well-being and peace of mind are paramount, even in the hustle and bustle of your job. And it helps you to let it go.

3. Look Into the Future

What may seem like a big deal this very minute may not seem like such a big deal in a year. Yet, in our day-to-day work, we proceed with blinders on—every nerve aware of the latest email or the latest perceived slight of the meeting we didn’t get invited to. Or the person who didn’t message us about this or that project.

But ask yourself this question when faced with these powerful emotions: Will any of this matter a year from now? A week from now? A day from now?

More than likely the answer is no. So, let's practice letting it go.

The things that we think are huge in the moment may just turn out to be nothing when viewed over the long haul. And that view is critical to enabling us to inhabit a world where we choose to let it go.

Ask yourself each time, will this matter in a year or a month or a few days? The answer that you will uncover will be a relief, as more often than not, the stressor is not a long-term issue but merely a fleeting irritation. It's a paradox of perception—the closer we zoom in on the details, the more distorted our view becomes, obscuring the broader landscape of our journey. And not being able to zoom out often clouds our vision—and makes things a bigger deal than they need to be.

The truth is that most of us take our jobs far too seriously, and, at the end of the day, what do we get? Recognition? Maybe. A paycheck? OK. A path for promotion? Again, maybe.

We are routinely putting too much stock in our jobs. We are trying to extract too much meaning from our workplace. And when we put that much pressure on ourselves to pull that much out of our jobs, we are bound to be disappointed.

If you were to die tomorrow, the job you have would be filled by someone else in short order. Yeah, I know it's morbid, but think of it this way. But your friends and family do not have that luxury to replace you. Do not ignore the most important relationships you make—and hint, hint—it’s not at work—to foster what really matters in life. Stop taking your job so seriously and instead live a life you love.

#56 Best Innovation Book of All Time | The Creator Mindset

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The Best 100 Innovation Books

Innovation is a driving force behind business growth, technological advancements, and societal progress. Cultivating an innovative mindset can help you identify opportunities, solve complex problems, and create lasting impact. That's why we've curated a list of insightful books to inspire and guide you through the world of innovation.

Our selection covers various aspects of the innovation process, providing you with the knowledge to unleash your creative potential and make a difference. So, let's spark your innovative spirit with these transformative reads!

How To Deal With Slackers | Psychology Today Article by Nir Bashan

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No matter where you work, no matter what you do, you may have noticed that just a few people at work do most of the work[1]. There are, however, people at work who are motivated – they show up on time, participate actively in meetings, show initiative, take on responsibility and otherwise engage at work in an active level.

And then there are the slackers. Unfortunately, these seem to be the largest amount of people at the workplace and so it begs the question: why do just a few people at work do all the heavy lifting – while slackers are allowed to – well – slack? It’s unfair. It’s counterproductive. And it needs to stop. It’s likely one of the most common complaints in the workplace – and the argument may be familiar: I have a coworker that is a slacker and I have to pick up most of the weight! What should I do?

But fear not – there are ways to deal with slackers in a creative problem-solving way – to ensure that you not only get your work done but also help the slackers to step it up.

1.     Find Your OWN Motivation

When surrounded by slackers, it is easy to get caught in the negative culture. Tasks at work seem to grow larger than they really are, and bad attitudes[2] take hold making mountains out of molehills.

But we can control our attitude and perspectives and maintain healthy goal setting away from getting dragged into the mire of the slacker by finding our own motivations.  When we compare ourselves to others – and judge our performance at work against the performance of others, we are bound to lose. Comparing ourselves to others at work is a one-way street to failure, especially if we compare ourselves to slackers, so instead find your own motivations.

It could be to secure an account that is faltering. It could be to ensure the boss knows that you are not the slacker in a tactful way. It could be the motivation of a raise or a better assignment or marketing plan. No matter what that motivation is, it is your and yours alone, and having that guiding north star will help you succeed and rise to the top in a sea of slackers.

2.     Take On Responsibility that is Not Yours

Nothing differentiates a slacker from a doer than taking on responsibility that is not your own. This is also the key to getting a raise or moving up in an organization as well, but for the sake of this article ,it is a tailored way to differentiate yourself from the slacker and show how you bring true value to the role.

A slacker will systematically shrug off responsibility, shirk from accountability and duck away from everything outside the narrow scope of their job description.  

So do the opposite. Show up to meetings, take on responsibility that others shy away from and take on accountability. Do all the things that the slacker is not doing. Eventually it will be obvious that there are slackers in the group, and you are not one of them.

3.     Communicate the Slack

Sometimes a slacker is slacking because they feel lost in the shuffle. They feel as if their input does not matter and therefore, they slack, hide away inside the organization, and hope to quietly fade into the furniture.

But there is hope: when folks get lost in the shuffle, a simple recognition of the importance of the job ahead can make all the difference. Sometimes people slack because they feel as if the task doesn’t matter in the first place. So hey – why even try?  But recognizing the importance of the task and improving the environment for task success[3] can help slackers become contributing members of the team.

Communication is key here: point out the reason the task is so important and recognize that input from all team members is critical – and the slacker just may feel compelled to contribute.

 --

A few people doing the majority of the lift at work is a common occurrence. But having these three tools listed above that are creative problem-solving techniques just may help awaken a new path out of slackness and into productivity. Yes it’s frustrating. Yes it’s taxing to be a leader among slackers. But trying to get work done in an honest and direct approach is a noble undertaking. And one that is worthwhile to pursuit. It may be a sad fact that there will always be slackers at work, but not being one among them just m

[1] Buckholtz, J.W., Treadway, M.T., Cowan, R.L., Woodward, N.D., Benning. SD, Li, R., Ansari, M. S., Baldwin, R.M., Schwartzman, A. N., Shelby, E.S., Smith C., Cole, D., Kessler R. M., Zald, D.H. (2010) Mesolimbic Dopamine Reward System Hypersensitivity in Individuals with Psychopathic Traits, Nature Neuroscience, 13:419-21

[2] Tian Z, Tang C, Akram F, Khan ML, Chuadhry MA. Negative Work Attitudes and Task Performance: Mediating Role of Knowledge Hiding and Moderating Role of Servant Leadership. Front Psychol. 2022 Jul 22;13:963696. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.963696. PMID: 35959060; PMCID: PMC9361050.

[3] Zhenjing G, Chupradit S, Ku KY, Nassani AA, Haffar M. Impact of Employees' Workplace Environment on Employees' Performance: A Multi-Mediation Model. Front Public Health. 2022 May 13;10:890400. doi: 10.3389/fpubh.2022.890400. PMID: 35646787; PMCID: PMC9136218.

Why the Full-Time Job Doesn’t Exist Anymore

The future of work is fractional. Are you ready?

by Nir Bashan | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

What does it mean to have a full-time job? Does it mean you are dedicated to one job only? On the clock only at certain times of the day? In front of your computer only? Is it a relic left over from the Industrial Revolution that dictates an 8-hour work day and 40-hour work week?1

It seems that today more than ever the definition of a full-time job has changed. What defines being on the clock? Is it being in a physical location? What defines a full-time employee? Is it someone who only has one job? The traditional role of a full-time job doesn’t encompass the realities of today. Being a mom is a full-time job, and so is pursuing a side gig. Heck, being a volunteer accountant at your church can be a full-time job, too. It seems that just about every job these days is fractional. The following three items help define this shift in the workplace and offer some insight on how to best keep up with the refreshing new definition of the “full-time job.”

1. Being a Full-Time Employee Has Forever Changed

For most employees, being a full-time employee today has completely changed. With the influx of flex hours, work from home, and other measures, being a full-time employee is no longer as cut and dried as it once was. There was a period of time, before Covid, when having a full-time job meant being in one place for a specified number of hours each day performing a specified task.

But that definition has changed. The new landscape of work is no longer task-based for a majority of positions. We have moved into a creative and analytical economy—one increasingly dictated by our ability to solve problems. Sure, there are still many factory jobs that require specific repeated tasks, but even many of those positions are slowly being phased out in favor of advances in artificial intelligence, automation, and other efficiencies.

The jobs and full-time roles of the future are going to require far more analytical and creative thinking—especially creative thinking. And those who succeed in this new paradigm will be the ones who have mastered the ability to solve problems.

2. Interests Outside of Work Are Paramount

These days, to be your best at work and in your career, you must develop outside interests that can propel you. It is not enough to just look for your job to be fulfilling in each and every way. When we expect our job to be our everything, we are bound to be disappointed. No job can ever tick every single box. So why do we keep trying to make our job our everything?

Instead, cultivate some interests outside of work. At the time of this post’s writing, the Olympics are going on in Paris. And Kristen Faulkner of Team USA took gold in an event that the nation has not medaled in for more than 40 years! She started in the sport for fun just 7 years before the Games. She was a venture capitalist in New York City who decided to take a riding class as a hobby. And that hobby eventually carried her to Olympic gold.2 It’s time to start taking our hobbies and interests outside of work seriously.

When we look to our jobs to be all-encompassing, we are sure to be disappointed. So we need to look outside of work to be fully complete and happy.3 Expecting our full-time jobs to give us full-time fulfillment is a thing of the past. Chase your outside interests with vigor and passion.

3. Employers and Leaders Must Adapt

My work consulting and conducting keynotes for companies and associations across the country puts me in direct contact with leaders across industries from automotive to manufacturing and financial services. Being on the ground every day makes me certain that someone out there is reading and saying, Hey wait a second! I am paying some good money here for a fully burdened employee and I expect performance and KPI’s and targets to be met! This is a dollars and cents issue here! What am I to do?!

But the truth of the matter is that full-time employment is just not an analytical construct anymore. Analytics that were dependable in the past are no longer the only yardstick we can use to measure success.4 To be effective leaders in the changed economy, we need to be able to adapt to this new fractional employment model and find opportunities in the wealth of chances this model provides to improve profits, boost the bottom line, and provide better and more comprehensive customer service.

This is a great time to think differently about the traditional analytics of a full-time employee. Perhaps we begin by changing the yardstick from antiquated KPIs to a more employee-focused goal setting in which staff define to leadership where they want to grow, instead of the other way around. Perhaps this is the time to engage staff to bring outside interests into the company. That may be something that the firm can use or it may be an opportunity to boost morale. Maybe it’s publicizing a policy that says it’s OK at your company for staff to be picking the kids up from daycare during the 4 p.m. call. Maybe that way leadership can fill vacancies with better candidates.

Conclusion

The sky is the limit for opportunities you can uncover by being adaptable in this new fractional economy—and the opportunities that this shift creates are multifold.

As the workplace continues to evolve, keeping up with the latest trends is important. But when the workplace has a fundamental shift from an antiquated system to a modern fractional one, being aware of all the opportunities it brings is critical. The modern workplace will never be the same, but that gives leadership and staff ample opportunities to make it even better than before. Because there is really no such thing as a “full-time job” anymore, making the most of every minute whether you’re on or off the clock is essential for living your most creative and fulfilling problem-solving life.

References

1. Jonathan Grossman. Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938: Maximum Struggle for a Minimum Wage. US Department of Labor.

2. Morgan Smith. 31-year-old Harvard grad just won a gold medal for the U.S. in the Olympics—in a sport she learned 6 years ago. CNBC. August 5, 2024.

3. Zawadzki MJ, Smyth JM, Costigan HJ. Real-Time Associations Between Engaging in Leisure and Daily Health and Well-Being. Ann Behav Med. 2015 Aug;49(4):605-15. doi: 10.1007/s12160-015-9694-3. PMID: 25724635.

4. Kunc, M., & O’Brien, F. A. (2018). The role of business analytics in supporting strategy processes: Opportunities and limitations. Journal of the Operational Research Society, 70(6), 974–985. https://doi.org/10.1080/01605682.2018.1475104

The Convos Podcast

Nir Bashan's The Creator Mindset provides a framework for cultivating creativity in business and life. The book argues that creativity is a learnable skill, not an innate talent, and offers practical tools and exercises to unlock this potential. Numerous endorsements from prominent figures highlight the book's value and impact. Bashan uses personal anecdotes and case studies to illustrate his points, emphasizing the importance of balancing analytical and creative thinking, overcoming self-doubt, and embracing mistakes as opportunities for innovation. The core message is that anyone can learn to think creatively to achieve greater success.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Interview with Engage featuring Jake Olsen

The Engage Presents series is designed to help busy event planners get to know our speakers quickly and effectively.

We go beyond the sizzle reel, asking FAQs about their personal stories, presentation style, approach to event planning, and much more.

Timestamps: 1:29 - 2:37: Nir explains the methodology behind his mission to inject creativity and innovation into organizations. He also explains various tools he teaches people to become more creative and innovative at work.

2:53 - 4:32: Nir talks about how his early experiences working with musicians in a dingy warehouse in Los Angeles and how they influenced his passion for creativity and the work he does today.

4:32 - 5:13: Jake and Nir chat about their musical talents and how music is one of the best mediums to innovate and create.

5:13 - 7:53: Nir shares a claim, backed by four years of research, that no issue on earth can be solved without creativity. He explains that creativity and innovation enable us to be the better problem-solvers by providing concrete tools to solve real problems.

8:22 - 10:10: Nir describes how his speaking engagements focus on giving people permission to find a new pathway and empowering them to look at problems differently through innovation and creativity. He says "I'm not telling your audience WHAT to do... they're usually smarter than I am. I'm helping them unlock their creative capacity to solve their own problems.

10:29 - 12:21: Nir explains his approach to keynotes and how he makes it easy and fun for everyone involved. Nir dives deep into the organization's issues in a fun, energetic, and funny way so that they can get the most value out of it as possible.

12:57 - 13:54: Nir talks about his love for books and the pride he has in his own books. Nir is interviewed by Engage President and co-founder Jake Olson. Nir teaches individuals how to harness the power of creativity and innovation for effective problem-solving in their personal and professional lives. To learn more about Nir's keynotes and to book him for your next event, visit: https://www.letsengage.com/talent/nir-bashan

Nir Bashan was quoted in the following article:

At some point in your career, you’re probably going to come across a bad boss; the kind of supervisor who fails to lead by example and makes everyone’s lives a nightmare with their petulant demands. It can get particularly bad when your boss is also the owner.

For one woman on Reddit, her boss’s inability to save a file correctly led to her being reprimanded, along with the company’s whole IT team. It didn’t matter that she had shown her boss how to do the simple task countless times. She went online to vent.   

More info: Reddit

A bad boss can make life miserable for their employees, as this woman unwittingly found out.

Her boss was working late as usual when the file he was busy with crashed.

When the boss tried to retrieve the file, nothing had been saved, so he reached out to the IT team for help, but they did nothing that night.

The next morning the boss reprimanded the woman for not contacting the IT team herself, even though she hadn’t been asked to and had shown her boss how to save countless times.

The woman concluded that her boss earns well over a six-figure salary, which just goes to show you can be rich without being that smart.

OP begins her story by telling the community that she just wants to share the complete idiocy that goes down at her place of work. She explains that her boss, who’s the owner of the company, frequently works late. One night he was working on an important Adobe Acrobat file when it crashed. When he reopened the file, none of his work had been saved.

The boss immediately reached out to the supposed 24-hour IT support team but had no luck. The next morning, OP arrived to a flood of emails about the boss’s issue. Even though it had never been explicitly outlined, her boss apparently expected her to have called the IT department, despite the fact he’d already done it himself.

OP said she hadn’t called right away since she was trying to sort out the situation first, but her boss ended up reprimanding her, along with blaming the IT team. As it turns out, they couldn’t do anything anyway, since the file hadn’t been saved, something OP had shown her boss how to do countless times, to no avail.

From what she tells us in her post, OP’s boss seems to be pretty toxic, and perhaps a bit of a narcissist. Either way, he definitely likes to play the blame game rather than take responsibility for his own ineptitude. 

In his article for Harvard Business Review, Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries writes that, according to the most recent Gallup “State of the Global Workplace” study, half of all employees in the United States have quit jobs at some point in their careers in order to escape their bosses. The figures are similar or even higher for workers in Asia, Europe, Africa, and the Middle East.

In his article for Psychology Today, Nir Bashan writes that having a bad boss may just be one of the best things that has ever happened to you, because sometimes the most valuable thing you can get out of a bad situation is your ability to change the way you look at it. A bad boss is a treasure trove of potential learning; in this case, the learning is what not to do, especially if you manage your own team.

Bashan goes on to say that, should you be saddled with a boss you’re no longer learning anything from, try moving to a different department within the company. Different supervisors have different personalities and ways of working that you might find better suited to you, and a change like this can yield plenty of positive results. 

In her article for Forbes, Margie Warrell puts forward some strategies to “manage up” and better cope with a demanding or difficult boss. Firstly, know your boss’s “why”, or identify their prime motivations. By putting yourself in their shoes, you can see the workplace as they might, and approach them with more empathy, or emotional intelligence. 

Next up, support their success while you work around their weaknesses. Help your boss focus on their natural strengths, while anticipating issues that might crop up as their blind spots, say organization or timekeeping, and being armed with a solution. By making yourself indispensable to your boss, you show them that you can be trusted, which could lead to less micromanaging.

Warrell also advises never being intimidated by a bully. Rather, ask questions, seek clarity, and work to de-escalate difficult situations while remaining firm on your boundaries of never being yelled at, humiliated, or judged without evidence. Doing this will ensure your boss understands they’ll need to get their power kicks elsewhere.  

OP might do well to let their boss know they’re not anyone’s scapegoat and compel him to own up to his own part in the drama, which is all of it.

What do you think of OP’s situation? Should she confront her boss or start looking for another gig? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers agreed that the boss was toxic and that the woman should start looking for a new job.

Exploiting Kids For Clicks

a Nir Bashan article

A Psychology Today Article

When internet fame and money beckon, temptation can cloud parental responsibility.

Key Points:

• Parents post embarrassing or awkward moments of their kids online for the world to see.

• The long-term effects of posting videos of children online can be damaging.

• Parents have a responsibility to protect their children by carefully choosing what they share online.

Two-year-old Chloe was in the back seat of the car with her older sister, captured in a moment on Mom’s cell phone that lives on in internet infamy[1]. She was just told that she was not going to go to school that day but instead was going to Disneyland. The camera pans to Chloe’s older sister, who is 7. She squeals with delight. And cries. Then the camera pans to Chloe, who looks at the camera with a sort of sideways glance with little emotion. The camera rests on her expressionless expression.

It's hilarious. Or is it?

As most readers here already know, 2-year-old toddlers have little capacity for understanding emotional moments[2] that register more vividly for an older child or adult, such as a surprise that the child is not going to school but instead to Disneyland. It is quite possible that Chloe had no idea what was going on, and yet her mom still decided to post her confusion for the world to see. At the time of printing, the video has 24 million clicks, has been shared millions of times, and has earned the moniker “Side Eye Chloe.”

What makes parents post their most personal moments with their children online? What drives someone to post a video of their kids on the internet to get some clicks, knowing that the internet is full of predatory and nefarious risks[3]? Is it the intoxicating drive for fame? Is it the allure of money? I set out to find out why on earth someone would choose to exploit their kids for clicks. But first I had to see if this type of activity was widespread.

What I found out was that this phenomenon of exploiting kids for clicks is extensive. At least 1 million memes are shared every day[4]. A casual glance on Google shows many results of parents uploading images and videos of their kids doing things like posing with the backdrop of a house fire with a slightly awkward smile[5]—forever memorialized as “Disaster Girl.” Or the image of 11-month-old Sam pumping his fist and looking satisfied, which became the center of a lawsuit because the image, now called “Success Kid,” was used by a Republican candidate, to the chagrin of the parents, who are Democrats[6]. Or the “Charlie Bit My Finger[7]” brothers, who, at age 3 and 1, saw the older kid putting his fingers in the 12-month-old’s mouth, exclaiming over and over, “Charlie bit my finger.” Perhaps you have seen the videos. If not, the links are in the footnotes. They are cringeworthy.

They are cringeworthy because these are real children, not some made-up, imaginary Hollywood fantasy. They are real children with real lives having real moments that are part and parcel of their childhood. Their privacy has been forever compromised by parents who chose to post to an internet that never forgets. No one forced these parents to post online; they chose to do it. In some cases, the parents promoted the images and videos to drive up clicks relentlessly[8]. These are real kids who will eventually get older and have to carry the stigma of their unsought and nonconsensual internet fame for the rest of their lives. In some cases, the long-term effects have been horrifically damaging, with severe mental health issues and even suicide[9] found among those exploited meme kids who one day, inevitably, grow up.

While the reasons for posting this type of media at the height of often painful awkward childhood moments vary widely, and perhaps a dissertation or two should be written on the subject, I found one very compelling reason parents succumb to this type of exploitation.

It’s the money[10].

The “Charlie Bit My Finger” video, which could have been a private video that stayed within the family to enjoy, was instead posted on the internet for millions to see. And it made some big money. Currently, the video has made the parents over $402,000. The "Side Eye Chloe" video from the introductory paragraph? What did that generate? $74,000. The “Disaster Girl” photo with the house fire burning in the background? $473,000. Sam pumping his fist as the “Success Kid”? $38,000 and a lawsuit over usage rights.

article continues after advertisement

Childhood is one of the most precious times in life, a period spent developing associations and connectivity with humanity that is essential for functioning adults. And childhood can be tough as well, full of awkward moments of adjustments to societal norms and confusion and lack of understanding of the long-term ramifications of certain behavior. But adults understand these ramifications, and adults know better the consequences of posting something to the internet. Yet choosing to post images and videos of their kids at their most vulnerable has to be one of the most exploitive things parents can do today.

Instead, enjoy the memory and share it with friends if you must, but keep it off the internet. The short-term gain of money may be tempting, but the long-term gain is dubious at best. With all the trials and tribulations childhood comes with, valuing the privacy of a child, especially at the most vulnerable moments, should be more important than any financial payout.

References

[1] "Side Eye Chloe."

[2] Noroña-Zhou AN, Tung I. Developmental Patterns of Emotion Regulation in Toddlerhood: Examining Predictors of Change and Long-Term Resilience. Infant Ment Health J. 2021; 42: 5–20. https://doi.org/10.1002/imhj.21877

[3] "Internet Predators: Warnings & Prevention for Families During the Pandemic and Beyond." U.S. Attorney's Office, Northern District of New York.

[4] Brown, Helen. "The surprising power of internet memes." September 28, 2022. BBC.

[5] Fazio, Marie. "The World Knows Her as ‘Disaster Girl.’ She Just Made $500,000 Off the Meme." April 29, 2021. The New York Times.

[6] Yuhas, Alan, "Mother of ‘Success Kid’ Demands Steve King Stop Using His Meme." January 28, 2020. The New York Times.

[7] "Charlie Bit My Finger."

[8] Lyttle, Zoey. "At Age 2, 'Side-Eyeing Chloe' Became a Viral Meme. 12 Years Later, Her Mom Reveals Why She Has a 'Lot of Guilt.'"January 20, 2025. People.

[9] "Kailia Posey, who became famous with the 'Grinning Girl' GIF, dies by suicide at 16." May 6, 2022. The Economic Times.

[10] https://www.highervisibility.com/ppc/learn/age-meme-kid-over/